When the weight of the world burdens your shoulders, sometimes it’s most revolutionary to love yourself. Finding consistent meaningful ways to reward your existence, can ground your mental and physical presence while strengthening your relation to self. We don’t always need a grand reason to celebrate, wanting to be happy for the hell of it is enough. So, using your love language (here’s the test), here are some ways to treat yourself to the love you deserve this year.
Words of Affirmations
Luckily for all of you who need to be wrapped in the warmth of affirmation, you can affirm yourself. To start, you must acknowledge your own doubts. You have to understand your feelings. I would highly recommend journaling as a closed space to speak with yourself. You can also create a closed finsta or Twitter to record your thoughts.
Then, reserve a space for all your affirmations. You can write it out in the back of the journal ,have it pinned in your notes app, or even keep a voice recording. You want to write words that encourage you, help you empathize with yourself, and make you appreciate your worth. It can go something like this: “I am allowed to make mistakes. I am worthy of goodness. I am beautiful.” I would also recommend including any meaningful affirmations or compliments someone else has given you.
The tricky thing about affirmations is believing them. But with or without the presence of doubt, you must affirm yourself. When you don’t believe it, affirm yourself until you do. You cannot compromise your worth. You want to get into the habit of affirming yourself at least once a day. You don’t have to wait for someone else to affirm you when you can do it yourself.
Lastly, send love letters to your future self. Right now, write yourself a love letter for your next birthday, March 2021 and November 2021. (If your birthday is in those months, you get two love letters in one month!) You want to talk to your future self, and affirm them too.
Receiving Gifts
If receiving gifts makes your heart smile, you will certainly be doing a lot more smiling after this. To start with some intangible gifts, consider giving yourself the gift of time. Often because so much is happening around us, the ability to relax and do what we truly want becomes a luxury. While this reality shouldn’t be, you can make the most of it by savoring time as a gift.
You could also give yourself the gift of not doing something and saying no. Take the power to not do activities that hinder your happiness (even if it’s just for a little bit!).
For more tangible gifts, buy yourself something nice you’ve been eyeing for a while. You shouldn’t feel guilty about treating yourself to something if you would gladly do it for someone else.
You can also think of some cost effective gift like a photo album or collage, making your own candles to light up, making your favorite meal or freeing up your schedule. You can even put some fun things on your bucket list and gift yourself an experience.
The point is, giving yourself a gift can be very simple. Creating a habit of treating yourself to gifts, be it tangible or not, can be a great way to love yourself.
Quality Time
I cannot stress the importance of dating yourself. If we can dedicate so much time into getting to know other people, why not do the same for ourselves? Intentionally taking time to be alone and learn about yourself can be extremely powerful. This time will allow you to reflect a lot about yourself, and appreciate your existence. Something as small as daily walks (with a mask of course), having dinner by yourself at a restaurant, going to see a movie alone or having a spa day are all great ways to spend time with yourself.
For more quarantine friendly ways, you can have a self-care day inside (bath bombs and all), find a new recipe to enjoy, watch your favorite show with some popcorn, or listen to music in the dark.
Seek enjoyment in being with yourself. The intentional time you set apart to be with yourself will make you fall in love with yourself. Make sure to record the journey, so you can see all the fun dates you’ve had throughout the year.
Acts of Service
Think about your past self doing something special for your future self. Try to get a head start by unloading the stress of upcoming deadlines or chores. You can prepare schedules that ensure you more freedom later in the week. If you get a task done, make sure to write that down. It will be a rewarding feeling to know progress is being made and that so much work won’t be concentrated in one day.
You can also take on a project of designing your space. Make it yours and go on hunts for the items you want. You can donate the things that don’t bring you joy and sort through junk to make space for these new items.
Consider scheduling times to cook yourself meals, or make your bed in the morning for the small, consistent wins.
If you appreciate others doing things for you, you can also show yourself love by doing things for you. You want to think about activities that make you feel productive and good. Think about things you have been avoiding, and how happy you might be to see them complete. Think about the relief your future self would feel like you finished that task now.
Physical Touch
Lucky you, self-care days are about to become extra special. For those of you who feel the most loved when touched, you can implement daily or weekly times of long, hot showers or baths, a good smelling candle and your favorite song blasting. Do some skincare, haircare, have manicure, and spray your favorite scent.
Treating yourself to a massage or spa-day can also be really rewarding. To be COVID-friendly, you can follow along some relaxing yoga videos on YouTube. You can consider getting foam rollers, masaggers or foot spas.
Getting comfy bedding like silk sheets or a weighted blanket will also greatly improve your happiness (and sleep). And don’t forget the comfy clothes!
As you can see, treating yourself to the love you deserve doesn’t have to be a daunting task. You can have fun with it and get creative. And the best part is, you can love yourself and feel good everyday. There shouldn’t be a limit to your happiness, so don’t create one. Give yourself the power to make your own day.
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Art credits: Princella, @artbyprincella on Instagram
Read more about love languages here.
Dear Dark Skinned Girl 
One response to “Use Your Love Language on You”
Awesome and we black girls are beautiful and strong.